The website “This Is Why You’re Fat” should really reconsider naming itself, “This Is Why You’re So Freaking Happy.” Behold… the mug made out of bacon:
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. If I were getting married, I’d register for 8 of these. Okay, 10. (Of course the joke in there is that I would be getting married. HAHAHHAHAA! But I digress…)
Here are some other items I’d love to fill my bacon mug with:
• Scrambled eggs
• Chocolate fudge
• Ice cream
• Cake
• Who am I kidding, I’ll take this thing empty too…
So the next time you’re serving brunch, why not serve up some Bacon Mugs as well. And let us know what you fill it with! (As long as it’s clean… keep your bacon erotica to yourself, please. Unless you’re an eligible bachelor. Hubba hubba.)
If you grew up anything like me, you absolute LOVE eating Bacon and watching the Star Wars. I’m talking the awesome, original trilogy of the film, back in the days when #4 came before #1, and after #7, unless #7 got cancelled due to lack of interest.
You remember … Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford, Sir Alec Guinness, Peter Cushing and the hauntingly mesmerizing, if not a bit breathy voice of James Earl Jones. None of that Jar Jar Binks or that irritating flying shop owner who greedily runs the local junk yard.
Meanwhile, bacon was the official way to start off each and every weekend of a lifetime, or at least, a perfect childhood. Who could resist waking up with a smile on your face and skip in your step, when your first conscious moment of the weekend is waking up to the alluring aroma of bacon cooking in the kitchen, perfectly setting the tone and mood “for the rest of the day”… and only to discover year later, “for the rest of my life.”
That’s it… I’m turning in my cell phone (that is so low rent it only makes phone calls and sends texts – ghetto!) and getting myself a shiny, new grill. Ahem… I mean… Um… Actually I don’t know what I mean.
The people at G-Monkey took it upon themselves to create an “app” for the iPhone and iPod Touch for all of us bacon fanatics out there. At first upon hearing this news, I was terribly giddy. Then I watched their YouTube video about the app and thought, “Well now that I’ve seen it, WHY do I need it?”
Biggest bummer about the app: NO REAL BACON. After suffering through the delicious soundscape of pops, sizzles and crackles as the porky goodness bubbles on a stove-top grill, there are no rewards. Not even a grease burn on our hand to show our spoils of war! People, this app is a classic example of what I like to call a “bacon tease.” HMPH!
So unless someone can figure out how to get real bacon to pop out of the USB port (squeeee!) I’d like to suggest some “additional apps” that can be downloaded to make this whole fake experience complete: Read the rest of this entry →
So maybe I spend too much time around the breakfast table. But recently, when I saw a picture of the Florida State University football mascot… And well I couldn’t help but wonder, … “WHY IS HE WEARING BACON ON HIS FACE?”
Let me be clear: I am not criticizing this look at all. If anything, I’m envious and wondering if he’s single. (I KID! But no really, if anybody has any info on that, let me know…)
I am pretty sure if I wore bacon on my face, the following would surely occur:
Breakouts (the acne kind, not the prison kind)
Odd status updates on all social media outlets, “I just got my face porked!”
Small children would point and stare more so than usual
PETA would start a campaign saying: “I’d rather go naked than look like that girl.”
Kevin Bacon would get curious questions from his wife, “Why are you on this gal’s face?”
