Wine Tasting Made Easy!
Face it, wine is something to be enjoyed, not scientifically dissected in a laboratory by a specially trained team of clinicians.
Mankind did not spend hundreds, if not thousands of years, constantly seeking to perfect the process of “vintnering” a vast and veritable variety of vibrant vintages, each uniquely delightful and delectably delicious wines, just so some up tight, “uber-serious,” straight-laced, pucker-faced aficionado could show up and “out-connoisseur” the rest of the gangly gaggle of snooty snifters.
NO … wine was meant to be enjoyed because it tastes good, makes you feel good and you simply like it!
So, it should be no real surprise to discover that wine tasting is meant to be more of a fun and exciting adventure, not a University Final Exam with your chance of you graduating, hanging on each and every academically correct answer.
Please don’t ever allow yourself or anyone else for that matter, to take the fun out of the journey, worrying if you have the perception and acumen to distinguish between aroma # 3,762 and aroma # 5,821. The truth is, it’s all about taste, and in fact there are only 4 different tastes on this planet, sweet, salty, sour and bitter.
So you are only experiencing various combinations of these 4 tastes, combined with the unique aromas and scents experienced as your taste-buds and sense of smell work as a team to enjoy the “TRUE” wine experience.
Remember, it’s all about how the wine tastes to YOU and you alone. There is no right or wrong answer, you are always right because in this game, there are no rules, no score and no competition, so you automatically win before you ever begin. Just 1 question per wine tasted. “Do you like it?” If so, that’s totally awesome. If not, no problem, simply move to another wine until you find a one that you do.
It al comes down to the “Seven Simple Steps,” or what I like to call the “Seven S’s.”
See: Hold the glass of wine at a slight angle above a while tablecloth, towel or piece of paper. What colors and clarity do you see at the shallowest edge of the wine, where the distinction between wine and glass is practically indistinguishable?
It is a clean and clear purple or red color that becomes nearly transparent at the very edge where the wine become the thinnest possible layer upon glass? If so, you have yourself a good quality wine that has held up well to the process with great integrity. If the color is somewhat brownish or full of sediment, then you are most likely looking at a wine that has seen better days and is now beyond its prime.
Swirl: Proper wine glasses are specifically designed to allow you to give each glass a nice, hearty swirl in the glass without risk of spillage, so that the true essence of the wine can properly evaporate and mix into the atmosphere within the glass and create a better “nose” or aroma.
Sniff: OK, don’t be shy, it’s time to truly be “nosey” and stick you nose into that glass and take a nice, intoxicating inhalation of the atmosphere within the glass, to allow your nose to play it’s part in the “50-50” team partnership that it shares in REAL wine tasting.
Breathe deep and then hold it in. What do you initially detect in the first phase of the sniff? Now what additional aromas begin to reveal themselves over time? Do you smell fruit and if so, is it red fruit like strawberry or purple like grapes and berries. Perhaps there is a citrus aroma or maybe even a hint of spice, wood, leather, musk, cinnamon, chocolate, or vanilla. Do you like it?
Sip: Now it’s time to finally get intimate with the wine. Take a sip and allow it to flow over your tongue and taste buds, sinking into every nook and cranny of your mouth and beginning to express itself through flavor.
What do you taste? Is it sweet and fruity or possibly a bit acidic, with a mild kick or bite to it? Now that you are both; smelling and tasting the wine, what additional complexities have been opened up to your senses with both nose and mouth in play? What gentle and playful subtleties now begin to make their presence know, as the wine sits in your mouth for a moment! Again, do you like it?
Swish: ahhhh, now this is my very favorite pat of the entire experience. By swishing the wine vigorously around in your mouth, the final complexities come forward to play their hand in this unique and mysterious nectar and there is no telling how many different little hints and tinges will be released for you to revel upon and enjoy with delight. Mmmm.
Spit or Swallow: And now my least favorite portion of the entire experience. For parting is such sweet sorrow an either way, the wine is either going to be swallowed up or cruelly spit out into a receptacle, and there is very little you can say that makes this sad phase of wine tasting reality feel nearly as poetic, romantic or polite and the earlier phases.
So should one choose to ‘Spit or Swallow? There appears to be approximate 79 distinct opinions on the subject, but in an effort to keep things both simple and civil, here’s a way of deciding that most people find quite reasonable.
If working professionally for a winery or a client that is being professionally represented as an aficionado or connoisseur, then definitely “Spit” in order to keep your wits, tongue and taste buts sharp and fully, clearly aware.
However, if you are simply hanging with some friends having a good time, then let’s once again remind ourselves of why wine was created in the first place. To DRINK and enjoy so please, drink away, allow the wine to reveal its own, final inner essence as it becomes a part of your inner essence and state of consciousness. Swallow by all means then!
Summarize: Here’s the thing to remember, your summarization is only for YOU and you alone, to decide if you actually, truly like, enjoy and want that particular wine. Who cares if you know all of the proper vintner terms or winery vocabulary? That’s not important at all. What is important is that you are 100% totally honest with your self and your own personal tastes and not in any way manipulated or influenced by the opinions of others.
If YOU like it, then for YOU, it’s a great wine! However, if you don’t like it, it really doesn’t matter if it is a very rare collector’s vintage and $12,000.00 per bottle … if you don’t like the way it tastes, then walk away and leave it for someone else who may truly like it.
I hope that helps! No go out there and enjoy the adventure of wine tasting and be sure to take the time to really let the experience saturate your entire being. Relax and loosen up your clothes as much as possible, taste the wine with your eyes closed and in a quiet, calm and peaceful environment.
Also, don’t forget to start with your lighter wines and then progressively move to your richer, moodier broods and clean your palate between each wine by drinking water and eating a small cracker or piece of French bread with a nice slice of mild cheddar or jack cheese on top.
Cheers!
Signing off at Pigging out!
Rocco “Boss Hog” Loosbrock
