So maybe I spend too much time around the breakfast table. But recently, when I saw a picture of the Florida State University football mascot… And well I couldn’t help but wonder, … “WHY IS HE WEARING BACON ON HIS FACE?”
Let me be clear: I am not criticizing this look at all. If anything, I’m envious and wondering if he’s single. (I KID! But no really, if anybody has any info on that, let me know…)
I am pretty sure if I wore bacon on my face, the following would surely occur:
- Breakouts (the acne kind, not the prison kind)
- Odd status updates on all social media outlets, “I just got my face porked!”
- Small children would point and stare more so than usual
- PETA would start a campaign saying: “I’d rather go naked than look like that girl.”
- Kevin Bacon would get curious questions from his wife, “Why are you on this gal’s face?”
But seriously. Dude is wearing bacon on his face. Right??
– Jennifer Eolin
Signing Off and Pigging Out,
Rocco “Boss Hog” Loosbrock
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